Brian Matthew Kessler
XXXX Carol Road
Union, New Jersey 07083
March 26, 1993
295 Lafayette St.
The Puck Bldg.
NY, NY 10012
Sorry about my manner of addressing you. Let me make it quite clear that I have no delusions that you are not a number, you are a free man. Strike that... if you were a man, free or otherwise, I would not be writing this letter... you are not a number, you are a free woman... somehow that doesn't sound aesthetically pleasing, but I will ignore that for the moment. The reason I address you in such a poor manner is obvious... I have no other way of addressing you... something I hope that you shall decide to amend.
I am considered "hot", "handsome", "adorable", or other such things by many of the women I know... unfortunately they tend not meet my very finicky standards. I am somewhere between 5'6 and 5'11, depending on the doctor that measures me... the last one said 5'8. I weigh about 130 - 135. I am white (except during the summer when I go to red and then to tan). I have long brown hair (with a touch of red in it during the summer as it gets bleached by the sun). My eyes are hazel, changing from brown to green.
I hesitate to inform you that I am hardly twenty, since I think in a manner of someone well beyond my years to the point where I often reject people my own age on the sole basis of age, dispite massive attempts at trying to avoid this hypocrisy. I tend to go for older women, between 24 and 28 (on the basis that any younger usually acts to young, and their is too much of a generation gap to really associate with someone older; my last girlfriend was 31, and she fit into both categories).
Aside from not being overly modest (especially in saying this) I have a lot of integrity. As for honesty, only under the following conditions will I consider telling a lie: A) Someone (who I care about) has their life on the line, B) Someone is prying into information that they are not entitled to and are likely to abuse, or C) I have no stake in the lie, either positive or negative, and I am doing it as a favor to someone else (such as saying my dad is not home when he receives a phone call he does not want to take... in contrast, if I, personally, did not want to receive a phone call, I would tell the person I either can't or won't talk to them.)
I am probably the most stable person anyone can ever expect to meet (and have been told so by various people). The only way in which it could be said that I lack stability is financially, and this would be in error, simply because I have little need or desire for money, and my lack of money has led only to rather small sacrifices (such as not eating food when I did not need it, not buying a book I'll never get around to reading, or not buying a tape I'll never listen to.)
I can be quite compassionate. I am a very good listener and I give very good advice (even if it is rarely heeded). By the same token I can also be charismatic (in both senses of the word).
I enjoy most forms of art, especially live theatre, music, and literature (but rarely the so-called classics), but am by no means limited to these.
While I am not an activist, I also take an interest in the environment (even if I don't keep on top of the current issues).
I am constantly engaged in some form of intellectual pursuit (as my mind is extremely hyper and does not give me much of a choice). My current major endeavor (but not the only one) is a Qabalistic analysis of 666, the Number of the Beast, of which I have written a 30 page, yet to be completed, paper on. Most of my current pursuits are centered around fulfilling course requirements for Hunter College (where I currently attend and take courses in Writing, Media, Mysticism, and Mythology). Outside of this, my pursuits tend to center around Magick and Mysticism, but are by no means limited.
I know how to have fun (subjective -- I refuse to take any chemicals to do so, although I hardly object to others doing so and I do not enjoy going into bars where you can't hear yourself, let alone anyone else) although it is very difficult to have fun in Jersey, so I won't so that I lead among the most fun of lives.
I have a sense of humor that often reflects Douglas Adams or Aleister Crowley. It is an intellectual humor, such as that of the British (as are my two examples). I have little appreciation for American humor, although I admit them credit for making at least a few funny films, such as "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World", which may be one of the funniest movies I have ever seen.
I have already described my appearance. As for internal beauty: I have reached a level of internal balance rarely achieved, an noticed by many people who have commented that I am the most balanced person they know. While I have my (rarely seen) wicked streaks, I am usually too nice for my own good, scaring off many women who did not want to get attached for various reasons. A friend of mine told me, many people told him, one of the reasons why I was hated by the masses of Stockton State College (where I went last year) was because I was a very nice person and they did not know what to make of me.
I am white, as stated above.
Unfortunately, I am not actually Anglo-Saxon, but (redeemingly) I have the attitude of a European (minus some of the more blatant snobbery, although I must admit that even if I do not project it, I often feel it) as well as a British accent (from watching too much British television, especially the sci-fi and comedy).
I take no regrets towards not being Protestant or any other form of Christian... not that anything is wrong with the general masses of Christians, whose hypocrisy gives rise to their salvation, nor is anything especially wrong with the teachings of Jesus (all twelve of them, according to a rare book by Crowley which I want to get my hands on and read)... it is simply the Church and its teachings that irk me, as they are counter productive to pleasure (as seen by their choice of Pan as a devil), count to intelligence (as seen by their choice of Lucifer as a devil), and human nature and free will (as seen by their choice of 666 as the Number of the Beast) (not to say that these are the only or even most important examples, only the most obvious to those that understand them).
I would send you a photograph, only I have none available (aside from some very outdated pictures taken in elementary school). You have my personal assurances I am not ugly. On top of that, fair's fair, and I have little idea what you look like either.
While I live in Jersey, I spend a lot of time in Manhattan and hope to eventually move there.
I look forward to hearing from you (address and phone on top of the first page). Don't get too freaked out if you reach the machine on my bedroom line.
Brian Matthew Kessler