Nowhere@All

Brian Matthew Kessler

XXXX Carol Road

Union, New Jersey 07083

(908)/687-XXXX (House)

(908)/687-XXXX (Bedroom)

January 10, 1992

The Village Voice Personals

Box VMV9869

36 Cooper Square

New York, NY 10003



Dear VMV9869,



Sorry about my manner of addressing you. Let me make it quite clear that I have no delusions that you are not a number, you are a free man. Strike that... if you were a man, free or otherwise, I would not be writing this letter... you are not a number, you are a free woman... somehow that doesn't sound aestheticly pleasing, but I will ignore that for the moment. The reason I address you in such a poor manner is obvious... I have no other way of addressing you... something I hope that you shall decide to amend.

I realize that you are seeking a female, however being that you are bisexual and did make any demands like "No men" or anything of the like, I was wondering if you might be willing to consider an effeminant (but strait) male? (I look great in drag, but I am not in the practice of dressing that way; my ex-girlfriend dressed me up once.)

Even though I can appear as attractive female, I am a male and according to what female you ask, I they are likely to say I am "hot", "cut", "handsome", "adorable", or some other somewhat similar adjective, unless they are put off by my long hair.

I am 5'8 (according to the last dotor that measured me.. readings vary from 5'6 to 5'11), weigh 135, have white skin (that turns red and then tan in the summer), long brown hair (that gets red streaks in the summer); I have hazel eyes that go from brown to green.

I am very easy going. According to a aggressiveness test I took in my high school psycology course, I scored a nineteen. This was the second lowest score in a class of about forty. (One girl received a forteen). The advertage female scored a thirty-six and the adverage male scored a forty-four.

Depending on your sense of humour and the mood I am in, I can be very funny at times, although it may help if your sense of humor is either morbid or intellectual.

I am highly intelligent. I took all honors and advanced placement courses when I was in high school. I graduated 33 out of 386 (everyone who did better and many who did worse had to work there ass off for their grades while I did almost nothing... outside of book knowledge our validictorian was a complete air head and I had trouble seeing most others as being too much better). I scored very high on my achievement tests (On the SAT I scored 700 Math and 510 English... I also took Math I, Math II, and Bio I and received 710, 720, and 700). I received a 5 (the highest possible score) on a Computer Science Advanced Placement Test and was the only person in my school to ever do it. In fact, at my high school I was hailed as the god of computers. I was studying to become a computer scientist until the end of last year in college. I got bored of it... not because I did not understand computers, but rather because my understanding was so intense that there was absolutely no challenge to it.

I am somewhat goal oriented, but rarely obsessive about my goals, and money is never one of them and is at most the means to a goal. Right now I have very few goals. I would like to find someone to love (both emotionally and physically). I would like to find something that I am good at and does not bore me to make a career of (I am currently considering either theater or anthropology).

While I don't claim to love jazz, I do enjoy it. My taste in music varies with the mood I am in. I usually listen to punk, alternative, or classic metal. I used to enjoy other forms of metal but I have become somewhat bored with them lately. I also listen to some shock-rock, acid-rock, country / western, blue-grass, blues, classical, and whatever else I find that suites my mood.

While I am not bisexual, I have had many friends (platonic) who were both bisexual and homosexual. Philosophically, I can see bisexuality as a form of ideal in the ability to overlook the physical body of a person or in having a broader mind. For better or for worse, I have little intention of living up to this ideal, but respect and admire the decision of any who choose to.

I hesitate to tell you my age since it is very misleading. Most people who meet me are prone to guessing that my age is about twenty-four. Those who never met me and knew me over the modem (when I was fifteen and spent all my time calling various bulletin boards and chat systems with my computer) were prone to guessing I was about forty, or at least thirty. In actuality, I will by twenty on the last day of July... a trivial fact that has cost me the possibility of relationships with at least a half a dozen women that I took an interest in (probably it would be a lot more if I was not extremely picky).

I don't have any photos that are up to date to send you. If you want to see what I look like, we can arrange to meet somewhere.



Yours truly,





Brian Matthew Kessler





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