Petition for the End of the World
Brian Matthew Kessler
& Marc Steven Cohen
We the undersigned believe that the world should come to an end, preferably by explosion starting at the core and going outward towards the depths of the universe.
We feel that the root of all problems is the very existence of this planet, Terra, otherwise known as Earth. All crimes, from the most nit picky (such as J-Walking) to the most critical (Gang rape and murder of a young child and then cannibalizing the corpse and defecating on the remains), occur on the planet Earth. No crime has been known to occur in space or on any other celestial body, such as Luna (the moon), Sol (the sun), Mars, Venus, Herschel (Uranus), etc. Therefore crime must be a phenomena unique to the Earth. This must mean that the Earth is responsible for the crimes. We should destroy it now!
And what of moral and ethical rules? If there is nobody around to violate them, there will be no sin! All we need to do to eliminate sin is eliminate all the people and since they are all gathered together on this one little planet, the most economical way to solve the problem is to destroy the planet. As for innocents, such as animals (i.e. lions, tigers, bears, and the albatross), some innocents must be sacrificed for the greater good of the universe. It is time for the end of the world!
Furthermore the Earth sucks up energy from the universe. If we destroy the
planet, not only will it prevent any more energy from the universe from being
sucked in, but it will also cause the release of some of the energy back into the
universe such that it may last longer. Destroy Earth now!