Tomatoes and Comedians Don't Mix
Brian Matthew Kessler
Pomona, New Jersey 08240
I would like to make an apology to the people who were offended by my behavior at the comedy club last Thursday. For those who have not heard what happened, the comedian was REALLY TERRIBLE. During his performance, I felt it was necessary to join the hecklers (something that I have never done before since I have never seen a comedian so bad) and rudely interrupt him by shouting a comment back to Scott who works in the kitchen, "Do you have any spare tomatoes back there?" At this time I had no intention of throwing tomatoes and was not even expecting to get them. The comedian proceeded to go off on Scott (not me, for reasons I do not quite understand). Included in the comedians comments was an invitation for Scott to go and get tomatoes. At some point towards the end of the show, Scott gave me tomatoes. (I took this as a go ahead to throw them at him... I later learned it was meant as a joke between him and myself and he did not expect me to actually throw the tomatoes... I, on the other hand, felt obligated since I thought people knew that I had asked for and received the tomatoes.) When I threw the tomatoes, I was planning on shouting "Get the hook", but my voice failed to cooperate.
I did not mean to upset anyone, as I explain in the letter I sent to Andy Kinder, himself, as an apology for my actions. I attach a copy of that letter here:
I would like to make an apology to you on behalf of my act of throwing the tomatoes at you. I did not realize that you or anyone else would take it so seriously. I did it as a joke (perhaps in worse taste than some of yours); when I did it, it brought back memories of the old movies and television shows when entertainment that was not up to par was treated to a barrage of fruits and vegetables and if unsuccessful from removing him from stage he was dragged off with a hook. Apparently this act did not invoke similar memories in other people since they did not seem to find it funny... and neither did you. I admit it: I WAS WRONG. I was planning to apologize in person but I was advised to leave since people were getting upset. If it would make you happy, I am perfectly willing to stand up in front of an audience while you throw tomatoes at me. Please accept my apology and my assurances that even if given the opportunity it will never happen again.
In the original letter I also included an address and phone number where he could contact me if he so wished.
I would like to add that while I am informed that out of everything that happened (in terms of heckling) during the show, the throwing tomatoes upset him the most, he did not, himself, file a complaint. Complaints were, however, filed by several students (so I am told) who somehow felt that my act might be taken to represent the school and not just me as an individual. I would like to apologize also to those complainants as I did not expect anyone to interpret the act in such a way (as explained above). I would apologize to the specific individuals, but I was not informed of the specific identities.
(Would you believe I managed to keep my nose completely clean for the first 18.5 years of my life, including my first semester here?)