Nowhere@All
 

  Brian Matthew Kessler
       College Mail Box XXXX
       Stockton State College
       Pamona, New Jersey 08240
(609)/748-XXXX
November 25, 1991

Ayesha
XXX-XXX 69th Avenue
Freshmeadows, New York 11365
 
 

Dear Ayesha,
 
 

What's up? Nothing at all here. I was home last weekend. My cousin Tracey got married. Nice ceremony... not big on the concept of marriage though... obsolete tradition with very little value in my book. 60% end in divorce and 80% of all married people have at least one affair. Why bother? Why not just make a commitment between each other and stick with it for as long as things work out and then just make an easy break when things no longer do?

I was going to go to the City on Sunday morning. I was going to call and ask if you wanted to join me, but I realized that your number was in my desk draw in school. It is probably for the better though because I probably would have wound up oversleeping anyway. I slept until 1:00 pm and it was too late to go to the City at that point since my dad was going to drive me back to school at 4:00 pm.

I have been up to almost nothing. I saw Morbid Angel with Unleashed and Entombed. It was a good show, but someone should tell the skinheads that the purpose of the mosh pit is to have fun, not kill people. They were being severe ass holes. One was moshing with a pen in his fist. If he had touched me, I would have killed him or died trying. I had almost wound up in a fight with him earlier because he thought I was trying to trip his friend who I did absolutely nothing to, despite the fact that he kicked me in the balls twice and in the kidneys once. Steve dis'd me on the show. He says he was sick in bed... I can believe he was in bed, but his company was probably either Jody or Carla, not germs.

I missed GWAR (Steve backed out at the last minute, again, and I couldn't get a ride) and several other shows since then. I saw the Romones and they were pretty good.

How did you crash the car and were there any more serious injuries? Also, how's the nose now?

Why can't you get mail at the new address and how do you still get mail at the old address if you are no longer there?

Halloween was boring... hit up a couple of parties, but none were that great... I didn't get dressed up since I didn't have money for a costume. I was thinking of going to a party as Alice Cooper but not even one girl had black makeup for the eyes. I then decided I would just throw my hair in front of my face and go as Joey Ramone, but then I lost my ride to the party... such is life.
 
 

The search for the Jersey Devil doesn't look like it is going to come together.

I didn't get a part in the soap opera.

I don't know if she is in your school or your grade, but I know one metalhead from Brooklyn... Melissa Timmerman... if you run into her, tell her I said hi.

School sucks here, too... courses are boring and the food is terrible. I wrote this for the paper about it:
 
 

Canteen "Food"


Here is some other stuff I wrote that you might find interesting (some recent, some old, some for school, some for myself):
 
 


Following God


Forbidden Explanations


Redefining Reality

Why Convicts Should Be Used as "Lab Rats" Rather Than Animals


 


That's enough literature for now...

I translated the Ruins on Ozzy's Speak of the Devil albumn. It says:
 
 

Howdy... Dial-a-Demon Productions, in conjunction with Graveyard Graphics proudly presents the Madman of Rock dumping in El Satanos Toiletio... Real Tasty.
 
 

The captialization and punctuation are my own additions. The rest is letter for letter. I memorized Ruins and Theban (another magical alphabet) and have been taking all my notes in my classes in one or the other, or both.

I chose a magical name for myself. (Actually I chose a new one since I was dissatisfied with the old one I chose for myself.) I don't really believe that there is any power to a name, I just chose it for fun. The old one was Yusaryl which adds to 31, the same number as my birthdate (July 31, 1973 = 07/31/1973 = 0+7+3+1+1+9+7+3 = 31 = 4) (which is supposed to be taken into consideration). (31 is also the number of God... AL (Aleph Lamed) = 30 + 1 = 31) I translated it to Hebrew and used the Tarot attributions and I thought I saw truth in it. Essentially it said that I, who started out alone (Y = Yod = The Hermit) would end up alone, thus equilibrium (L = Lamed = Adjustment)... the other letters just translated into words that modified it. I decided that the name was too depressing and hopefully not true. I then decided to chose a name from the

Hebrew alphabet. I came up with Ayen, Lamed, Quaff, Aleph, Teth, Ayen, Shin. In English, Ilqatish. The Hebrew again adds to 31 which is 4 and the English adds to 40 which is 4. Via the tarot, my name means The Devil (Ayen = The Devil) will cause Equilibrium (Lamed = Adjustment) between the Illusioned (Quaff = The Moon) Fool (Aleph = The Fool) and the Lusting (Teth = Lust) Carnal (Ayen = The Devil) Times (Shin = Aeon). (Unbroken: The Devil will cause Equilibrium between the Illusioned Fool and the Lusting Carnal Times.) The Devil refers to me, the Illusioned Fool refers to all those who have little sense of reality and the Lusting Carnal Times refers to now. The two Ayens and the Teth both help to prove the correctness of this name. Ayen being the Devil is special to me, because I would follow the Devil long before I would follow God and being that I am my own God, many consider me Satan, the Devil. Teth is special to me because Leo is attributed to it and Leo is my astilogical sign. Teth has a value of 9, which is the number of Satan. Teth is the Hebrew word for Serpent. Snakes are my second favorite animal, second only to cats, which brings us back to Leo. There are other reasons, but this is just at the top of my head and I don't feel like writing a whole book on it right now.

Actually, on the whole, I think this whole letter is long enough for now. I am going to end it here. I am coming home for Thanksgiving vacation. If you want, we can do something between Wednesday night and Sunday afternoon (Except during Thanksgiving evening since I will be eating dinner with my family, but before or after on Thanksgiving is fine). I will try calling you later tonight. If you changed your phone number, I won't reach you though. If such is the case and you would like to do something, you can reach me at the number up top before Wednesday afternoon. If I am not in, the answering machine will pick up after five or six rings (maybe more, but it will eventually pick up). After Wednesday and before Sunday night, you can try reaching me at home. My parents line has an answering machine. If you don't have my home phone number anymore, it is:
 
 

(908)/687-XXXX (House)

(908)/687-XXXX (Bedroom)
 
 

I now share my bedroom line with my brother and there is also a phone in the kitchen, so you should be able to get me on that line if I am home. If not, leave a message on the house line.

I hope to see you sometime soon, maybe this weekend. As I said, I will try to call you later, but if I suceed, chances are you will know that before you receive this later.
 
 

Yours Truly,
 
 
 
 

Brian Matthew Kessler



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